Well, hello there, it's me, your Dungeon Master Russ More.
Thank you for joining us for today's episode, which is a little late from the release schedule,
but it's, as you can see, a long one from the runtime, and we set up some pretty big
things in it, so I wanted to make sure that it all flowed well and sounded great
and just really came together the way we had envisioned it when we played it, and
I think we nailed it.
I hope you think so too, we'd love to hear what you think.
Also, we're not going to do an interlude, so I'm going to remind you that there's
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If you want to enter to win a copy of Baldur's Gate Descent into Avernus or some Dungeons
and Dragons swag, all you have to do is rate and review us or show us that you
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If you do both, then you get two entries, if you do one, then you get one entry.
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You can also email us, DumbDragonPodcast at gmail.com.
Also a huge thank you to Kyle Clasett from Bombarded, who is in this episode
as well, reprising his role as Vorunax for this episode.
We really hope that you enjoy what he's brought to the show here for us and
invites you to go check out Bombarded.
Bombarded is a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast where they all play
bards and sing music and write music and save the day as only bards can do.
It's awesome. It's hilarious.
Kyle does a great job running it and we invite you to go check them out.
All the details are linked down in the description.
Please do so because they are wonderful and beautiful people.
Now, I won't distract you anymore.
We'll get you to today's episode.
Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
Oh, it's real nice to meet you.
My name is Lip Sinky Pip Diggins.
Perhaps it would be for your own health to see if I can't suss out a resolution
to what you need.
I don't appear like I've got a choice.
You, uh, you ever heard of this one?
Black, Blackpool?
No, it's not ringing any bells.
I welcome you to Blackpool.
And if you need anything, do not hesitate to ask.
So you're, you're not from here?
No, no, just just traveling through.
So not anymore.
Well, that's the trouble.
Why the digging?
You felt like they were in the ground?
Just got to go on my instincts about what the right thing to do is.
And that felt like the right thing to do.
I have a hinky feeling about all this, but I got a good feeling about you, Pip.
Oh, well, that's awfully nice.
I got a good feeling about you guys, too.
I will send out word throughout the town and send it to the appropriate people
and let them know that the heroes of Faerun, the decimators of dragons,
are here to help our fair little haven.
And I'm sure they would be more than welcoming to have you come in
and squash out whatever bugs seem to be crawling around.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We're a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast,
and I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
And with me today is Carla Maxted.
That's me. I am playing Lipsinki Pip Diggins,
a deep gnome.
You don't know why yet.
Something.
Something with magic.
Yep.
And Amy More.
That's me.
I'm playing Thea Amastasia.
And I'm on solo mode, barely.
Sorry, I'll speed it up just a little bit.
And Tom Laird.
That's me.
I'm playing Flint Firebeard.
And back with us again today from Bombarded,
it's your dungeon maestro, Kyle Glasset.
Hey, everyone.
Thanks again for having me.
This is gonna be a lot of fun.
And I'm just stoked to get to it.
Yeah.
We're gonna get into it this episode.
Let's do it.
Where we got a whole bunch of things
where we just get into is over on Patreon,
Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast,
where when you are a patron,
you get an episode dedicated to you
like today's patron, Christian Brown.
Yay.
Thanks, Christian.
You rock.
Thank you, Christian.
Fuck it.
Let's play D&D.
You wake up the next day and you go to the hospital
to grab Lipsinki.
When you get there,
Vorunax is there waiting for you with his trio.
Good morning.
I imagine.
Hey there, hey there, Vorunax.
Did you rest well?
Yeah, pretty delightful.
The inn was very comfortable.
Fantastic.
Well, I have made arrangements amongst the townsfolk
and have also spoken with the doctors here
to permit Lipsinki to be able to travel around
with you as you investigate the ailment
of our fair little city.
I mean, proposed ailment, but sure, yeah.
Yes, yeah.
Well, I mean, we're listening to Lipsinki
at this point, so I don't want to downplay
what they may be experiencing or hearing,
and if there's something to it,
then you're absolutely right.
We should try to seek it out and do the good thing.
That's right.
What's the worst that could happen?
That's a very, very good question, Thea.
I can't even fathom what it might be.
No, why is that that?
That's a good way to set up the adventure.
Why, Amy, why?
I've never played this game before.
As you're discussing, who knows what.
The door is open and two of the attendants
open the door and Lipsinki exits into the day.
Well, hi, Lippy.
Well, that's a fun new nickname.
Nobody's ever called me that before.
It's usually Pip, but I'll go with Lippy.
If that's what you like.
Might be a random assortment of a jumble
of the same letters of your name put together.
All right, I mean, it's so nice to be outside,
and can I, I want to see if my powers are back.
Okay, how are you testing this?
Well, let me tell you how I'm gonna test it.
All right.
I'm going to cast Thaumaturgy,
and I'm gonna say, it's such a beautiful day,
and see if it's three times as loud as normal.
It definitely echoes through the muddy bunny alleyway.
I'm startled, it's all getting, I'm like, Jesus.
Had I been drinking a coffee,
I've since dropped it on the ground.
Spilled it all over here.
You see in the window of the muddy bunny pet shop,
bunnies just hopping wildly.
Hold on, is it only bunnies in this pet shop?
It's all that's been established so far,
and I mean, what's in the window?
They're just in a weird mud pit.
They're like the dirtiest animals you've ever seen.
You're like, why is this shop a place?
But it's just got little bunnies in it, it's cute.
Well, with that loud yell,
I assume you're prepared.
Do you have everything you require
to check foundations or basements?
Also, how did you make your voice that loud?
Just gotta know, one magic user to another.
Oh, it's just a little thing I like to call,
and then I do it again.
Thaumaturgy.
Oh, my.
Oh, boy.
That is impressive.
You didn't read it off a scroll or anything.
How did you do it?
Well, it's just one of the things I can do.
I've heard about you.
I know, you know, sometimes certain magics
you can just do.
Can I tell if she's a fellow druid?
Can I give her a hug and just no?
What's with even the hugging?
You gotta roll high on your grope again.
Can I roll?
I mean, you could ask, but yeah.
Are you a druid?
Oh, that's so nice of you to ask.
No, I'm not a druid.
Are you gonna make me go through the whole list
of all the magic people we have in our world?
I mean, I feel like it's maybe a little bit
weird of you to just be asking,
but I mean, you did just get me out of prison, so.
No, I'm so sorry.
I would like it to be a surprise.
Do I still have my bracer on
or did they take that away when I was?
Everything was taken from you previously.
I will leave it up to Vorunax
if they grant you things back.
Mr. Mayor, how would you feel about me
getting that bracer back?
It's black, it's got a small diamond in it.
Please call me Vorunax.
Well, if you promise to stop yelling
as loud as you have been, perhaps that can be arranged,
but this is the kind of, you know,
disrupting the peace that you were doing before,
which has gotten you in this situation, so.
Right, right.
Perhaps dial it back a little bit,
especially if you're going to be
going into people's houses.
And yes, I think we can arrange that,
and I snap for one of the doctors
to go get her belongings.
One of the attendants goes back inside
after a few moments,
comes back out with a bag and box of things
and hands them to you and appears
all your belongings are in there.
Great.
Well, I've got a bracer that I strap on.
And Lipsinki, what is it that this bracer does?
Why does it mean so much to you?
Well, it's got a lot of sentimental value
and I press the diamond and it shoots out
and it's a never-dulling shovel
that I used to dig my holes.
Well, isn't that just super handy?
I press it again and it goes back in.
Interesting.
Wow, okay.
Well, I don't think we're going to be needing that.
I had an idea, Pip,
that maybe you were feeling compelled to dig
because these voices that you're hearing
are underground.
But I don't think anyone would be able to yell to you
if they were just buried in a hole.
Do you think maybe they could be in a basement somewhere?
Well, Dolly, I don't know.
I mean. Tunnel?
Let me see if I can hear them.
They'll be louder now that I'm outside.
And what, do you want me to roll something right?
Yeah. Okay.
What do you want me to roll?
Probably a D20.
Arcana.
Okay. Arcana.
Okay.
Probably a good.
Is there going to be a perception?
I'm just wondering. Yeah, no.
Because it's not her knowledge of it.
It's just being able to be open to the voices.
Yeah, that's fair.
Go perception.
Unless Arcana was a better roll for you.
It was a way better roll, but that's okay.
Oh, fuck.
It's okay, it's a 19 anyway.
I'll leave it to Amy to talk you out of a good roll.
19.
If she can't physically touch your dice,
she will touch them with words.
That's right.
Watch out, I'll curse your dice.
Yeah, as you exited the building,
they were a little louder,
but now that you're focusing on them,
you can hear distinct cries or calls for help.
No real, sorry, no real precise location.
Just kind of echoing around.
Okay, but several voices?
Yes.
Do you hear anything?
Well, I can hear him,
but I'm not sure exactly where I need to go.
I mean, all I did before was just waited and listened
and then went sort of, you know,
where it felt like the right place to go.
So if y'all are on board for that plan again,
can we just do that?
I don't have anything else scheduled for today.
Yeah, no, this is why we're here.
Let's do it.
Okay, so I'm going to leave the Money Bunny Alley
and head into town, I guess,
sort of back towards the Blackpool Tavern and Inn.
Inn and Tavern?
Whichever it was.
Inn and Tavern.
Okay.
Lipsinki just starts walking away.
Novrath says, well, if you need anything,
just feel free to give us a holler.
Will do, buddy, buddy.
Sure, yeah, will do.
I start skipping after Tip.
Y'all take care.
I look forward to seeing what you find
or hopefully don't find, of course.
However, this could not get in the way
of a good day of chore, and so excuse us.
You head back through the streets.
It's fairly quiet in the streets compared to yesterday.
Aren't as many people walking around.
Everyone who you do see that smiles and waves at you.
Everyone?
Everyone.
So that's what I was gonna say.
Everyone.
No dead fish-eyed people?
Yeah, everyone that you pass up by
looks up at you and smiles and waves
and then goes back to doing what they're doing.
You, Lipsinki, you hear the voices.
And as you're going, they're getting stronger.
Like they come in waves.
As you move through the center street,
the main road in town,
you hear them very loud and then they kind of fade
and then come loud again and fade
as you are making your way down to the end.
So like I'm tuning a radio
and I can't quite dial it in?
Yeah, that's a good analogy for it, yes.
Um, is it possible as I,
to just stop when I hear it louder
and see if I can get some kind of idea?
Yes, you stop.
Make a perception check as you stop.
Twin.
You stop and you look down and you're looking around
and you look back down the street to which you came
and you kind of walk back and forth
between two of the stronger points
and you notice they're,
the way that the houses are set up,
they're all directly across from each other
and you notice that they're kind of run directly
between the houses is where they're strongest.
So sorry, houses are facing each other along the street
and then sort of like perpendicular to house to house
is sort of where I'm noticing.
Exactly.
Well, y'all, I can really,
I'm really picking up something here
and I press the button like the diamond on my bracer
and I start digging in the street.
No, hold on.
Wait, wait.
It's just that I hear the voices
and I've already dug so much.
It's like kind of unbelievable
how much I've dug already actually.
Like I just started and it's like 10 feet already.
Oh my gosh.
Okay.
Lipsinki, stop.
Stop, stop.
All right.
Just for a second.
Let's, we've been given permission
to go into any house we want.
Oh.
So before we start wrecking their landscaping,
maybe let's go into this nearest house
and just see what we see.
And you tell us, hear what you hear.
Rusty, did it get louder when I was digging?
The deeper you go, it does become more amplified, yeah.
Well, all right, we can try it that way,
but I can, it's like I'm feeling it more
when I dig, when I get closer.
And I totally get that.
But my thing, just my thought process is
if there are people who need help under the ground,
there has to be an entry or an exit point somewhere.
Right.
Otherwise they're already suffocated down there.
So first, let's just check to see if
there's anything that we can find,
any trap doors, any tunnels that lead from basements,
and see if we can get to them that way.
And if we don't find anything,
you can dig until you reach the other side of the world.
Well, all right.
She's just like fucking excited.
She just wants to dig.
I just want to dig, man.
All right, so we go up to the closest house
to where she's digging.
Sure, yeah, you go up to one of the houses
on one side of the street,
and you knock on the door.
Yes, we're not just gonna be like,
I have authority and kick the door in Van Damme style.
I don't know.
The power hasn't gone to my head yet.
Sorry, is Donnie with you?
We did not specify off the top there
if he's flying tree to tree,
licking his lips at sweet, sweet cows.
I think we may have left him in maybe,
we've let him go off and do his own thing.
Just not to go too far.
And I'm constantly being like, Donnie?
Yep.
You've been stealing cows, did you?
Not yet.
Not yet?
What?
No.
Donnie.
Didn't.
Don't get yourself in trouble.
Also, keep an eye out for that Vorunax guy.
Is that a...
I've got my eye on you kind of thing, or like?
Sure, you want to be a spy?
Well, I'm kind of a big gold dragon.
You are gold, yeah, and you are big.
Just keep an eye out for anything weird.
All right, I'll just like, you know, fly above.
Yeah.
And see what I see.
Okay, you just keep yourself safe, man.
All right.
Don't steal cows.
Not yet.
Knock, knock, knock on the door.
Yeah, you hear footsteps from inside,
and the door opens, and there is a halfling female
who opens the door and says,
oh, you're the ones checking the basements for things?
They didn't, they said just to let you in.
And we're just gonna look around.
We'll be very, as least intrusive as possible.
Okay, Lipsinki, what's your passive perception?
It is.
You know, Flynn's is garbage, but yeah.
Yeah, garbage damn.
Passive perception is 11.
Oh, it's, wow, it's outside.
Mine's only 14.
Yours is 19.
Only 14?
19.
Sorry.
Mine's 19.
Only 19, Amy.
Sorry, Doc.
I didn't roll that for you.
It's true, you didn't.
No, I didn't.
Although you might as well have.
Probably licked your dice or something,
or you used them, as I'm known to do.
It's a real problem.
That straight up may be one of the most disgusting things
someone could possibly do.
She lets you in, and you enter,
and you, she says, well, the basement is just
back and down the hall there.
Don't mind my boys, they're just playing their games.
And as you walk by the living room,
there are two younger halflings,
and they are looking at a board game,
makeshift board game in the middle of the table.
And you go down to the basement.
What do we see?
What do you hear?
Also, what do I hear?
Good question.
And here, this is a full sensory adventure.
I wanna be completely enveloped by this basement.
Are we able to touch things
in a three-dimensional sort of way?
Yes.
Can I lick something?
Yeah.
No.
I mean, you can.
That's right, I do what I want.
All right, you head down the stairs,
and they're creaky old wooden stairs
into an unfinished basement.
I love that you said unfinished basement.
It just occurred to me that we could've gone down,
and it could've been completely dry walled.
Totally.
It's nice flooring.
It's just a set board.
It's not cold.
It's just a rec room.
Like, oh, shit.
Heated floors for the winter.
There are bookshelves.
This is where I should've placed the kids.
God damn it.
You can wreck on it, Ross.
You can wreck on it.
That's true.
No, it's an unfinished basement,
and the voices are louder for Lipsinki.
You look around, everybody make an investigation check.
14.
Uh-huh.
23.
Five.
Classic Amy.
Yeah.
Five.
That's what it was last time I investigated something.
Thea, you're busy thinking about-
About how they could turn this into a rec room.
About how they could turn this into a rec room
for those two kids upstairs.
So great, just such a great place to play.
You flash back to walking by them,
and you kind of get a feeling,
the same kind of feeling that you got yesterday
when you saw some people,
is that they were very straight-faced, unlooking.
They're just kind of focusing on the board,
but not really making moves to the board.
Lipsinki and Flint,
you look around, and Lipsinki,
maybe even you get down to the floor.
You like to be near the dirt.
That makes sense.
Yeah, I can see myself towards where the street
would be pressed right up against
to see what I, if I can hear more or sense anything.
Maybe I even cast Detect Magic.
If you want to, you certainly can.
I do want to.
Please tell me if you do so.
I do, it's a can trip.
I can just do it.
Sure.
Oh, nice.
I have to waste a spell slot for mine.
Yeah, you Detect Magic all over the place, girlfriend.
You do so.
You don't detect anything particularly magic
about this room at all, really.
I mean, you detect some items on Flint and Thea
that give off an aura of magic.
You're looking around and I point my boots
and like, eh, my amulet, eh, my ring, eh, my bow.
Like all of his weapons.
All the weapons.
They're just glowing.
It's beautiful.
It's magical.
But then as you're walking around,
you step on a, what sounds like an echo.
You get like an echoey of a footstep
and you look down and it's covered in dirt,
but it doesn't sound like any of the other footsteps
that you had taken up to that point.
Perfect.
I'm going to just look right through that.
I can just see through objects.
So can I just see something through it?
I love this character.
It's very exciting.
This is fantastic.
What's the see through?
Let me find it.
Tag.
Oh, ghostly gaze.
Once per short rest,
you can gain the ability to see through solid objects
with dark vision to a range of 30 feet.
Holy shit.
Pretty dope.
We're going to steal something together later.
You see through, and I picture it kind of like,
you know, a movie when it goes,
like you see all of the elements
as you like kind of zoom through it.
So you see like the layer of dirt
that goes through a layer of like a wood plank,
a wood planked door in the floor.
And then it opens up into a, an open chamber,
like a walkway.
I don't know how deep you're going here.
And then it goes back into dirt again.
You kind of back up a little bit.
Whoa, too far.
Like too far?
Zoom back in.
Y'all, there's a chamber down here.
I just look through the dirt and the wood
and I can see that there's a room down there.
And I think if it's all right with you,
I'm going to use my shovel
and I'm going to get us down into it.
You can see through things?
Oh, sure.
Yeah, you bet.
Oh, okay.
I'm just curious.
I just want to know, can you do this all the time?
Well, I need to, you know,
take a little break every once in a while,
but yeah, I mean, a couple of times a day
if I need to probably, if I get a little rest in,
eat my lunch or whatever.
You like to dig, yeah?
Yeah.
All right.
Just wondering why she dug before she bothered
to look through to see where she was digging to.
But it doesn't matter.
She likes to dig.
Yeah, dig, girl, dig.
Okay.
So I use my shovel, which is Sharpie the Shovel,
and it is very quick.
It's like something redonkulous.
Let me find the stats, but.
So Sharpie the Shovel, I can dig.
Would you say this is a soft soil
or probably a firm soil, probably a packed soil?
Yeah, it's like a medium firm.
Okay, well then let's split the difference
and say I can dig 20 feet using Sharpie the Shovel,
like just lickety split.
Does she dig four inches and then she finds a piece of wood?
I can dig through the wood.
Yeah, no.
Oh my God.
Like it's, I'd say it's.
I can dig through stone.
I gotta assume I can dig through the wood.
You're a mole in like a little drill machine.
That's how I imagine you.
It definitely isn't that far down
just because of, you know, you heard the sound.
If it was more than a couple of feet,
I'd assume that you wouldn't have heard
like the clang on the wood, but you dig
and it just like the wood panel explodes
down into the floor.
You fall in behind it
and now you're in a dark chamber,
kind of stonewalled, mossy.
It's dark vision, but you can still see.
There's a single door that would be on the street side.
Are you okay?
Oh, I'm all right.
It's dark down here, but y'all should come down.
You guys got the dark vision or?
Yeah, I do.
Yeah, me too.
Flint, I'm just curious.
There's something wrong with the kids upstairs.
Yeah, it's like those people you saw yesterday.
They didn't really react to much of anything, did they?
Those kids weren't doing anything around that board.
They weren't fighting.
They weren't arguing.
I don't even know if they're kids at all.
Do you wanna go down with her?
I'm worried if we all go down there,
we could end up trapped.
One of us should stay up here.
But I think we'd be better served to all be down there
because then we'd have all of our abilities
to get through whatever might be happening down there.
Okay, yeah, I get what you're saying.
It's important.
Do you think they'd let me tie them up upstairs?
I mean, it feels like a bit of an abuse
of our free rein here.
Okay, fair enough.
Just a suggestion, couldn't we just block the door?
I was just gonna say, can I go to the top and melt?
I assume they have metal handles
and melt the mechanism with produce flame
so that the door can't be opened.
Yeah.
I do it.
Do so.
You produce some flame and it's blasting out.
It's a flame, so the door catches fire.
Oh no, hold on, do I have something better?
Do you have something like heat metal?
How about heat metal?
Where's my heat metal?
You might have dropped it.
I feel like you got rid of it
after three playing sessions.
I did, because I was like fuck this.
All right, you've already lit the door on fire.
I've lit the door on fire.
You've already lit the door on fire.
God damn it, I've lit the door on fire.
Oh, okay.
You hear a knock from the other side.
Is everything, there's smoke coming out.
Is everything okay down there?
Everything's fine, I'm so sorry.
This was my bad.
And I take, I take like my cloak
and I patted the flames.
I assume like it didn't just go up
like it was kindling.
Okay, no, everything's fine.
I'm really sorry about that.
As you were.
Right.
Is there anything downstairs?
There's a chair I can shove at the top of the stair.
I mean, you've melted the handle,
but the door lit on fire as well.
Oh I have, and the door lit on fire, okay.
Well then, problem solved.
And I head down the tunnel.
Hey, you hop down in.
You get down in there, Flint,
you're already down there.
Yep.
And as, Thea, as you get down,
you hear kind of a groan
coming from beyond the door that you see.
Guys.
There's something on the other side of that door groaning.
Did it sound like a person or an animal or?
Do I know if it sounded?
Like I've heard a lot of creatures groan.
Am I like, that's an ogre.
You don't specifically know.
I don't know.
Okay.
Well, let's just go ahead carefully.
Either there's a person who's heard on the other side
or it could be, you know, something nasty.
Okay, I'm gonna cast Primal Savagery.
So my teeth and fingernails sharpen
and I'm like ready to attack.
Yeah, exactly.
Amy made a face and it was exactly what happens.
Thea, you definitely see this happen.
Flint, I don't think you see this happen,
but Thea, you see this happen.
Her nails extend, I'm assuming,
kind of like longer daggers.
Kind of like a-
Like Wolverine style.
Yeah, but not Wolverine who's his brother?
More animal.
Sabertooth?
Sabertooth, you know,
in the gross one, when it's Leav Schreiber,
I kind of do that.
Yeah.
Kind of, yeah, Leav Schreiber's it.
The extension of the teeth and the nails.
Oh, sweet god.
Oh, don't worry about it, it's just to protect us.
No fair, you do you.
All right, what are you doing?
Am I the closest?
I can open the door.
Sure.
Or can I open the door?
I guess is the question.
You go to the door and it opens
for you, that's what you want to do.
That's what I want to do.
Make a dexterity saving throw.
I will.
You should have checked for traps.
We've been playing for how long?
Not long enough.
How long you don't know how long
I've been playing for?
We didn't check for traps at all.
This is a whole new gal.
That's a six.
You open the door hastily.
The sound of the voices are kind of clouding
your judgment at this point.
You open the door and an arrow flies
and sticks into your shoulder.
Beyond, you see a man holding a crossbow
and beside him,
Thea, you get a sickening twist in your gut
as you see two zombies beginning to lurch forward.
Roll for initiative.
Fucking Jesus Christ.
13.
Kyle, do you want to play some zombies?
Sure.
I'll put in the rolls for zombies.
All right.
That's a one plus my two initiative bonus, that's three.
17 for flip.
I want it to go last so I could really, you know.
Just really Amy it.
Stop using my name as a verb or an adjective.
Russ, do you just want to put all the baddies
together in one?
Yeah, let's do that.
You got it.
One cult guy, two zombies.
Cool.
I did roll a five with a negative two and makes it three.
Yeah.
Zombies are quick.
Hey, get your own number.
So you've got higher decks
so we'll go with you first over the zombies.
Yeah.
I'm gonna roll a different one for the cultist.
He's gonna get to go here.
So exciting.
All right, Flint, you're up first.
Lipsinki is in front of you blocking the doorway
although she did just take an arrow to the shoulder.
And I assume you're short behind her
usually is your motive.
Sure, yep.
Is she fully blocking the doorway?
Well, I'm a very small person so.
Very small person.
I mean, you're pretty small too but.
And it took it probably turned to the side
when it hit so.
So I'd be able to kind of shimmy past if need be.
Yeah, you bet.
All right.
Are these zombies and or cultist?
The cultist is like 40 feet down the hallway.
The zombies are about 10 feet moving towards.
Oh yeah, let's get into it with the zombies.
All right, I'm going to sneak past Pip
and I will pull out my moist tongue long sword
and say the magic word of moist.
Lovely.
Yep, you can thank our one of our patrons for that item.
That's Ty.
And I will roll to attack the nearest zombie.
Flint's blade begins to glisten
as this gel begins to move down the blade
and glow a light iridescent blue.
And lubed up like that
that just slides right through.
Just right on in there.
That's 19 for the first attack.
I mean, yeah.
Okay, well, you never know.
Yeah, it could be a zombie with armor.
Right.
So the first one that is eight plus five, so 13.
And that's cold damage.
Okay.
Okay, if that matters.
It's chilly.
I might as well just roll my next two attacks at once.
Yeah, go for it.
They were both 11 plus 10, so that's 21.
You got them.
You're a zombie rage machine.
12.
I yell from the back, slice them up.
10 and five is 15, so 27 total
for those last two attacks.
So Flint rushes forward, his blade glistening,
takes two huge chops into the first zombie
and it falls to the ground.
Then swinging over to the second one
takes a large chunk out of its side
as it lets out a groan.
And Lipsinki, it's your turn.
Okay, so I am probably closest to the dude that shot me.
He's down the hall.
Okay, so a zombie is closer then.
Yeah, so Flint, zombie, and guy down the hall.
Okay, well, I've already got my primal savagery going,
so I may as well try and attack that zombie.
So I don't know what my...
Hey, you're good at casting spells, Amy.
What do I add to an attack spell?
To an attack spell, you have a spell attack bonus.
Up at the top, you see your modifier,
spell attack, and save DC.
If you click on the spells tag.
Yeah, you've got a spell tag.
Okay, so that's a 19.
New rules.
Good job, Amy.
Try it.
Yeah.
That hit, sorry?
It does.
Okay, so I'm gonna do 3D10 acid damage.
Hmm.
Which is 10, 19, plus seven is 26 damage.
So how does it look?
Holy shit, probably not good.
It probably smells worse.
It does seem like gross, right?
Because I have these gross nails,
and I'm this weird saber tooth Nosferatu combo
that shoots acid out.
I just got a very accurate vision of you.
But little.
Yeah, but tiny.
Big red pigtails sticking up the side.
So yeah, I feel like it is very,
it smells like bile or something,
just like really disgusting.
When you bring up the pigtails,
I keep thinking of Helga Pataki from Hey Arnold.
Yeah, kinda like that.
I'm thinking Pippi Longstocking, straight up.
Yes, that happens, and the flesh begins to melt away,
and it begins to melt through the bone,
and that zombie just falls to the ground
in like a puddle of ooze.
And do you have any other attacks, options?
I don't, but I go back to normal,
like my teeth and fingers, like I'm normal again.
I think I only get one attack.
You are small, but impressive.
That's what everybody says about me.
You all look up as the cultist
readies another arrow.
The 16 on the die against the little thing
that just clawed up a, well, yeah.
A perfectly fine zombie.
Yeah.
So yeah, that'll hit.
The ravenous looking one.
And yeah, 18 with modifier, so yeah.
The arrow flies loose, and that's a D8 plus four.
D8 plus four.
That is a one on the die, so five damage.
Yeah. So good.
Guess we didn't give you damage off the first one.
That's fine.
It was more for flavor than anything.
Yeah.
You know she's not gonna die down here,
so that's fine.
And as that cultist lets loose the arrow,
he runs down the hallway to the side.
Can I do a reaction before he does that?
How do reactions work?
Spells are new to me.
Good question.
I've never had a reaction spell, I'm interested.
As something happens, you can react to it.
So he fired, you can react.
I wanna react.
Okay, what are you reacting?
I am reacting with a hellish rebuke.
So I point my finger,
and he is momentarily surrounded by hellish flames.
He has to make a dex saving throw.
Well, he ain't running nowhere.
He's got a dex of two there, Kyle.
Yes.
That'll be a six total.
Okay, so that will not be successful, surprisingly.
So he takes two D10 plus.
When you cast a spell using a spell spot of second level
or higher, the damage increases by one D10
for each slot above first.
I have four D10,
so let's say I'm casting it at fourth level.
It's 10, 20 damage.
As he lets out the arrow and moves to run,
he's surrounded in these flames,
lets out a hideous, like,
he's just in pain and anguish
as you see his skin begin to bubble
as he runs down the hallway.
How far do you assume he gets?
He's out of sight, it's like, 30 feet.
So I run forward, I will run forward 30 feet,
and then I will cast Eldritch Blast on my dude.
Okay.
And I'm going to-
40 feet to the end of the hallway.
So you're 10 feet from the end of the hallway.
Okay, well, this beam is 120 feet.
Okay, what I'm saying, though,
is you have no line of sight of him
because you've run 30 feet down to the-
It doesn't say I need to have him in sight.
It just says a target.
You can't see him as a target,
is what I'm telling you.
Can I not round that corner?
Can you bend bullets?
I mean, they're not bullets, but-
Can you bend bullets?
Like, no, you can't see him.
Fuck this guy, I just start to chase after him then.
I dash.
No, I don't dash, I just run.
If I dash, I'm going to catch up to him,
and then he's going to hit me.
Okay, so you're down 10 feet from the end of the hallway.
Sure.
Come on, guys!
I mean, you can dash and not use all of your movement.
You can be to where you can see down the hallway
and call it there.
Can I go to the corner and look around?
Sure.
That's what I want to do.
You see him running down the hallway.
He's 30 feet down the hallway.
I yell, wimp!
Yeah.
Kyle, can you roll me an attack roll, please?
Oh, and I bring my head back.
That would be a 16 on the die again.
The first zombie that was cut into by Flint
reaches up and grabs at him.
The zombies didn't come back.
What the fuck is this?
So that punches into your leg, Flint,
and you take that bludgeoning damage as he lets out,
and they go, ugh!
Is this non-magic bludgeoning damage?
This is non-magic bludgeoning damage.
This is zombie damage.
And how much damage am I eating on this?
It is a one on the die, so two bludgeoning.
Two bludgeoning damage.
Okie dokie.
So there's one zombie who's trying to make a move on you.
The other zombie is an oozy puddle.
Is he caressing his leg?
Yeah, he's just moving his hand up and down.
So Flint, back to you.
All right, so the zombie is grabbed onto my leg?
Yes, sir.
Okay, I will attempt to extricate my leg
from the situation via my longsword.
It's a 23 for that one.
Nah.
He has a metal arm somehow, like what?
Yeah, like what?
And that is 13 damage on the first attack.
Yeah, you cut down into its head
as it slams into your leg and it splits wide open.
I yell back, didn't you kill that one already?
Yeah, yeah, it looks like they're coming back.
Is it still hanging onto me?
I mean, it's just kind of got a grip on you,
but it's dead.
Again.
Okay.
Again.
Yeah, I was like, was it dead to begin with?
I'll, I guess, try to dash with one of my remaining actions
to try to get to where he is.
Sure, yep, you can absolutely make it.
I mean, you guys, the cultist is 30 feet down
the hallway, so we can just say
you're out of combat for the moment.
Sure.
Well, I mean, I could throw something at him,
but that's fine.
Go for it.
You want to?
Okay, I will, I'll use my Dwarven Thrower.
Okay.
To throw a big old hammer at him.
Because, you know, as you do when you're a dwarf.
So that is a 21.
You throw your Dwarven Hammer,
it sings down the hallway
and crushes into the back of the cultist,
roll damage.
What a horrific surprise, right?
You think you're getting away.
He's so happy he's gone away.
You're running.
That's 11 bludgeoning damage.
And you see, like, you hear just a sickening crunch
as its ribs crush in on itself
as the Dwarven Hammer pulls back.
Part spine is stuck to the hammer
as it lands in your hand.
I kind of, I'll like shake it off
and it like won't go right away
and then I have to use my other hand
to like touch it to get it out of there.
Oh, don't touch it.
Get out of here.
It had to be done.
Had to be done.
Oh, God.
Do you guys wanna head down this hallway?
He was running somewhere.
Is there any other doors or anything
or are we just going on a hallway?
You look down the hallway
and as far as you can see,
it looks like there are more hallways
that jut off in either direction.
You can presume that you're kind of
in the middle of the street at this point.
What do I hear?
Didn't I say tunnels under the city?
You hear the voices are coming from down
into the left as you turn.
They are screaming out.
Some just cries of pain and anguish.
Some you hear the actual words, help, help me.
And they are echoing louder from down the hall
where the cultist is running.
It's like they're echoing out and down.
Was running.
Right.
He is now faster.
He is no longer running.
Can he run without a spine?
I don't think so.
Not well.
Well, y'all, I hear it so loud
and they're screaming and they need help
and we're going in the right direction.
Lead the way.
We'll follow you.
Okay.
I mean, I'm tiny and vulnerable.
I'll lead the way.
I just mean like, you know.
It's okay.
You know what I mean.
You tell us the direction.
I'm hearing the voices, so.
I'll happily lead.
You just tell me where to go.
Down into the left, the way that fellow is going.
You are following the voices
and they're getting louder and louder
the farther you go down for you, Lipsinki.
And the farther you go, Flint and Thea,
you're more focused on your surroundings.
You hear coming from behind you
and down the hall groans
from further back into the darkness.
You get down to the end of the hall
and there is a single wooden door.
It's wrought ironed like hinges that shoot out.
You see a symbol with a human skull
on a plate, for lack of a better term,
that looks like it's made into
some sort of large mace or hammer.
And the handle is a spine that moves down.
What did we eat last night?
It's like, think about it.
That's a real good question.
The fuck we ate last night.
Oh my God, Flint, you hear those?
And I gesture with my head down behind us.
Yeah, I think we gotta move forward though.
We can't worry about what's back there.
Look what I still have.
And I bring out my bone.
I still have my bone.
I never used it.
Lipsinki, you just see her waving a bone,
laughing maniacally.
I just remembered I still have it.
I don't understand.
Is that?
It's a good thing.
Oh, finger bone.
Snap it and it protects you from undead.
Okay, well I'm gonna fucking snap that motherfucker.
A wave of energy shoots out and around you.
Cut it out, it hits things.
You feel it push up against the wall.
So long as they're in my bubble.
They, yeah, they can't,
they have to make a save to enter your bubble
or they have to make a check to enter your bubble.
And if they do, then they take disadvantage.
They can fight me?
They have disadvantage on attack rolls and stuff.
Cool.
Yeah.
Stay in my bubble.
Okay, you're up against the door.
You have protection from the groaning
coming from behind you.
What do you do?
Are we able to open the door, Russ?
You move to open it and it doesn't move.
The handle turns, but the door doesn't physically move.
Can I check for traps?
Just...
Sure, if somebody's already turned the handle.
I know, but you just don't know
if you push the door, never mind.
Investigation?
Yeah, that's fine.
Can I reach into my pocket and I pull out
just what looks like a little piece of rubber
or something, but it's actually an eyelash
and some gum arabic, and then I turn invisible.
Okay.
Don't worry, y'all, I'm still here.
Got all sorts of tricks, don't you, Pam?
Okay.
You're good.
If you stay close to me, the undead can't hurt you,
but they might not be able to find you anyway.
So, all right.
I guess I should put my shoulder into this door.
Yeah, should we all try to shove?
Make a strength roll, combined or otherwise.
Okay.
Go.
Oh!
17.
Those are good noises.
17.
I got 24.
I got 20.
Okay.
Thea's feeling real revved up.
She's got the adrenaline pumping.
She could lift a car off a child right now
if cars existed in this world.
Okay.
So, you three throw your shoulder into the door once.
It doesn't move.
You throw it in twice.
It doesn't move.
You feel dust kind of fall down on the outside of this.
You throw a third time and the door explodes
into the room and the three of you fall into a scene.
Oh yeah, we did it!
I'm gonna say you're so taken off guard
because it was not moving.
There was nothing allowing you through.
God, did someone just open it from the other side?
In a sense.
Whoop.
You look up as you kind of push yourself up
and you see Varnax, Rubia, Oklarth and Novrath
standing in the room and Varnax has his Pseudo Dragon
Groll up on his shoulder.
Around you, you see the same symbol that you saw
on the door, kind of up and down columns.
You see skeletons in corners of this room.
Decorating the walls all around.
You see a giant rib cage circling the center of this room
that come up and out of the ground making a focal point
in the middle of this circular chamber
that you have entered into.
This super creepy clubhouse you have here.
Blood Lord, I have brought you ample sacrifice.
Are we prepared?
And I look at my three minions and I nod for them
to get into position to start trying to bind,
trying to basically tie up the people who fell over.
They can't see me.
They, yeah, they're correctly, they can't see.
I scamper out of the way silently or I can roll a text.
The three rush you as you're still on the ground.
They're going to make, let's make a strength check
against the three of you, or against the two of you,
rather.
Motherfucker.
Eight.
Seventeen.
I wasted all my strength getting that door open.
I'm tired.
Two move to go towards you, Flint, Rubia and Ocklar.
And they manage to catch you before you stand up
and pull your arms behind you.
You drop whichever weapon you were holding,
the thrower and your sword.
They fall to the ground.
Thea Novrath.
Instead of a, can I just ask,
instead of a strength roll, can I do like,
can I roll for like spaghetti, spaghetti ball?
Spaget, spaghetti ball.
What?
I roll for wet noodle arms?
Can I roll for spaghetti body?
I want to go like totally limp
and like try to roll out of the way.
Like a small child would do
when they're being carried off to bed.
That's right, like limp noodle.
I want, cause I know I'm never going to win
in a strength battle.
And I don't think Thea would try to strong arm someone.
I think she'd go like dead weight, roll away.
Make a dexterity check then.
Cause I just think that's, oh, motherfucker Amy.
Eight, I think it's the same roll as I roll for my strength.
Novrath comes up behind you, Thea,
and you know, you try and go limp.
He's like, I've had three children.
I know exactly how to deal with this.
And he lifts you up. I do anyway.
I'm just like, blocked over.
And is carrying you in a giant bear hug.
And they begin dragging the two of you
and they say, where is the third?
I do whisper, so you do like to hug.
Yeah, yeah, no.
I was, I hugged you freely.
Oh, sorry I got you mixed up with your buddy.
Oh, I mean, we're, I'm a dwarf.
Can I, oh, we didn't bring her.
Shit, were we supposed to bring her?
Flint, did you, is she in your bed?
No, we left her in that basement.
Fuck, we left her.
She's looting the zombies.
The two of you are being moved
to the center of this cage.
And as you step in and are being bound in position.
I want to cast Mass Suggestion.
Oh, I like all of your spells, Carla.
So I am going to try to magically influence up to 12,
but in this case, only the four baddies
to doing what I want.
So I'm going to say, y'all should stop what you're doing.
Let my friends go and leave this room.
So they need to make a wisdom saving throw.
Are you saying that out loud?
And then I mumble and destroy your big rib cage.
Okay, the Rubia, Ocklarth and Novrath,
they're going to get a plus four
because of an aura that I have to their saving throw, Russ.
Okay.
And I would make, it's a wisdom saving throw, right?
Yeah.
I got to 20.
Rubia got plus four, that's a 19.
Keepers.
Ocklarth.
Doesn't hire dummies in this organization, does he?
Right.
Ocklarth, that's going to be a 14.
Novrath, 17.
Okay, so the two, the 17 and the 14 will both fail.
So they're going to do what I said,
which was let my friends go and leave.
So I think those two maybe were on one of them.
Ocklarth was on Flint, Rubia was on Flint,
Novrath was on Thea.
So Ocklarth goes to begin to untie Flint
and Novrath does the same.
I will go ahead and use a channel to do any.
This is starting to frustrate Varunox
and I'm going to engage my conquering presence.
So pretty much everyone within 30 feet that I want to,
which of course is the three people
that I know are in the room now,
have to make a wisdom saving throw.
And this is against magic, I assume?
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
It's against a divine feature,
which I don't know how they classify it.
What do you think, Russ?
How's that work for advantage?
But it is being frightened, just to let y'all know.
Because I have advantage on wisdom throws against magic.
Would you say I'm being charmed?
So many questions for Russ.
You're being frightened.
You're not being charmed.
That's the opposite of being charmed.
Dammit.
Okay.
So it's a divine, so he's basically calling on his god.
So magic and god.
We're going to have to set some real big
world building moments right here.
So you have advantage, is that what you're saying?
Yeah, I have advantage on.
I mean, I'll give you advantage on it.
Yeah.
On wisdom save.
Flint, you got to roll too, Mary.
Yeah.
So that.
I was just waiting for you guys to figure out your.
Sure.
So. That's a 16 for Flint.
19 for me.
Oh wait, I can reroll a wisdom save
because of my charm bracelet.
Thank you.
I rolled worse.
I'm at a 12 now.
Okay, so 12.
19.
Flint.
Sorry.
16.
19, 16, 12, 19, 16.
12 and the 16 fail.
They are frightened for a minute.
I would like to reroll using my indomitable skill.
Just on the off chance, I get a very nice roll.
Certainly try.
You could roll a two.
That was a 15.
I tried.
Okay, so the two of you are frightened.
You are still partially bound,
but because you are frightened trying to move away,
you begin to, you fall and scramble
and are beginning to move away from Vorunax.
So he's in your position kind of at one end of the room.
So now you're trying to move as far away
back down to the other end of the room as you can.
And so.
Okay.
No, I was just going to say
the other two left, right?
They untied my friends and then they left.
They were in the process of untying
when he basically yelled at fuck off,
you invisible person.
In a commanding way.
Was commanding.
They dropped still partially bound,
but I guess as they dropped,
the two of them then turned to leave.
And am I moving back towards my weapons room?
No.
That seems unfair.
Well, they dropped them by the door
and that's kind of where Vorunax was standing,
so you're moving away from Vorunax
now back to the closed end of the room.
Okay.
So Vorunax, you see two of your lackeys,
Ocklarth and Novrath,
beginning to go towards the door.
Okay, I'm gonna say,
Rubia, snap them out of their senses
with whatever means you've seen necessary.
As for you two,
and I start following Thea and Flint
as they're backing up and I say,
there are many things that Orcus offers all of us.
Peace, serenity.
Would you get in the way of this serenity
that everyone should enjoy?
Do you wanna live in a world with pain?
Do I keep moving back?
Yeah, have we?
I guess we haven't really rolled initiative, right?
No, we haven't rolled initiative.
Everything's just a wild free-for-all.
I like it. I like this free-for-all.
Me too.
I'm wondering,
so I'm trying to like scamper away from him.
Do I know anything about Orcus?
Probably, yes.
Carla, which thing did you use
for your stop doing things thing?
Mass suggestion.
Mass suggestion, that's what it was.
No, the stop doing things thing.
The stop doing things thing.
So you know, roll a history check for me
while I'm Googling other things.
God, everything is awful.
I wanna cast another spell, too.
So much is happening.
It's so exciting all of a sudden.
I'm stacking spells on spells.
This is getting kind of intense.
Nine.
So Orcus is the demon lord of the undead.
What's about what you know?
I just hear, fuck your Orcus.
Voronax removes kind of the raggedy cloak
that he normally wears,
revealing half-plate armor
that is just decorated in skulls
and different, looks like bone,
all just conjoined together to create the armor.
And you see that he has painted his face
to reveal, or to represent almost like a goat-like skull
over his snout.
Joke's on him.
We're frightened.
We're not looking at you.
Well, I am looking at you,
and you look amazing.
So scary and so good,
but it's unfortunate that I then cast
maddening darkness right on you
so like, even if they weren't scared of you,
they couldn't even see your dope reveal.
Sorry.
What is maddening darkness?
I love the chaos that has just unfolded.
What does maddening darkness do?
Magical darkness spreads from a point you choose
to fill a 60-foot radius sphere.
They're already scared,
so I don't care about scaring them.
The darkness spreads around corners.
Even creatures with dark vision
can't see through this darkness.
Non-magical light or light created
of spells of eighth level or lower
can't illuminate the area.
Shrieks, gibbering, and mad laughter
can be heard within the sphere.
Whenever a creature starts its turn in the sphere,
it must make a wisdom saving throw,
taking 8d8 psychic damage on a failed save
or half as much on a successful one.
That's everybody in the room!
That's terrifying!
Oh my god.
Times are tough.
Times are fucking tough.
Also, I just met y'all.
I don't care about you that much.
Thanks for saving the world, but...
Thanks for saving the world
and getting me out of prison.
I'll remember this.
Little did you know,
the bad guy wasn't the bad guy that we created.
Oh my god, twist!
Yeah, right.
M. Night ShyamAlydin shit going on here.
Right?
Oh my god.
It's okay, so in response to hearing an incantation,
I will counterspell.
What?
Hey, isn't this what you wanted?
That's good, I like this.
It's just what you wanted.
What level is that spell that you just cast?
That is an eighth level spell.
Ooh, this one's gonna be hard.
They're all hard for me.
I've never played a spellcaster before.
She's just firing them up.
You're doing a fucking amazing job, Carla.
Holy shit.
That will be hard to counter.
So I think I made to cast it at a fifth level
is what it looks like.
Well, we'll try and see what happens.
Ain't gonna be a terrible thing unless there's a...
Sorry, high level characters are hard to manage.
It's true, that's why we're in this clusterfuck
that we've got ourselves in.
It's true.
That's the T-shirt.
High level characters are hard to manage.
It's too much.
So rest with this spell guard shield that I have.
I have advantage on saving throws against spells
and other magical effects.
I don't think this would fall in that.
You would have advantage on...
There's a saving throw that comes along
with the madness thing, but not you casting spell.
Okay, then let me just roll and add this four
and hopefully I'll get above an 18.
DC equals 10, yeah.
Oh, I got a 20.
Okay, so...
Unnatural 20.
Vorunax hears your incantation begin and silences it.
And in that moment,
a red glowing light begins to churn
and open in the center of this cage that is being set.
You hear two screams from down the hall
and I think we've got a roll initiative now.
Oh, fuck.
Hey, 11.
Does he take any damage from that thing
or he stopped me?
He stopped.
It's kind of good,
because I was going to have to wreck everybody
to get rid of that.
The fact that it does that much on a failure, dang.
Yeah, that's a good spell to have.
Okay, give me some...
Indeed, eight double spells.
11.
19.
19 for Lipsinki.
13 for Vorunax.
Lipsy.
Okay, what?
15.
Okay, Lipsinki, you are up first.
As your spell is countered,
you see this light begin to erupt from the center
of the bone cage in the middle of this room.
Okay.
Flint and Thea, you are still frightened of Vorunax.
Okay, well, how about then,
I'll cast Witch Bolt.
I'm going to cast it...
So...
Sorry.
Sorry, you're invisible until...
Okay, Witch Bolt.
Spell ends for a target that attacks or casts a spell.
So basically you're not invisible anymore.
As soon as you tried to cast your madness spell.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, sorry.
No longer invisible.
There you are.
I see you.
Uh-huh.
Okay, so I'm going to cast Witch Bolt.
Let's say at fifth level, because why not?
And...
So we've got bad guy,
but also glowing demon thing emerging from somewhere?
Well, glowing, yeah, kind of fiery light
coming up the center.
There's no physical apparition to it.
Just a fiery bolt of energy coming up.
Okay.
And then the three others went down the hall.
You heard two cries or screams.
Okay.
I think Varnock seems like the likely target then.
So far.
Okay, great.
Then...
For now.
Then he, the target he shall be.
So, oh, I think I just cast it.
Is that a thing?
No, I think you make a spell attack.
Spell attack, sorry.
Yep, attack.
Okay.
Okay, and you'll need to do that at disadvantage
because I have a special shield that's magical.
Okay.
So the 24.
Fuck.
So, yes, that one does not work.
Just no.
Okay, well, I tried.
See, it just ricochets off of this,
it looks like a golden kind of shield
adorned with jewels,
but it's, I've desecrated it with the images of orcas
and skulls and all that good, you know,
undead looking good stuff.
Goes to...
You have a real theme you're going for here.
Mm-hmm.
Hits into the wall and bones spread out
and you see them as this energy grows and fills the room,
you see these bones beginning to collect together
around the perimeter of the room.
Flint, you are up.
You are frightened.
You can use your action,
you can use your movement to run as far away from you
as you can from Vorunax
and then make a save at the end of your turn.
Wow, that sounds delightful.
Can I run like around him
since we're in like a circular room, is that correct?
Yep.
So if I like keep distance from him,
can I kind of go around him?
It's like hamster wheeling it.
Yeah, yeah.
I guess you have run the perimeter.
Perfect. Run the perimeter.
Run the gambit.
We'll run around the room
and that is an 18 for the save.
An 18 will do it.
Ooh, yeah.
I was going to burn another indomitable
if I had to.
You run 30 feet around the perimeter
and you kind of shake your head
and you're now no longer frightened of Vorunax.
Vorunax, it is your turn.
Okie dokie.
I am going to use an action
to cast Mirror Image on myself
and then I am going to get right up
in Thea's face knowing that
Thea is frightened of me.
I'm so scared.
And I'm going to go ahead
and just have my Sword of Vengeance
and my shield ready to go.
And that will, I believe, pretty much end my turn.
Let me make sure here real quick.
Sorry, a lot has happened.
Sorry, so you're just getting
uncomfortably close to me?
Not just him. Yes.
Four of him now just appear in front of you
and rush towards you.
And as I walk up I say,
you do like hugs.
The embrace of Orcus is divine.
Using your hugs against you.
How dare you?
You reap what you sow, Amy.
How dare you sully the good name of hugs?
Thea, it's your turn.
Thea, it's my turn.
I see no way out
but since I have to move further away from him
I do what I can to get away from him
and that means I'm going to take out
my Tome of Thunder Clap, motherfucker.
And by clap I mean step.
Thunder Step, motherfucker
because that's going to take me 10 feet away from him.
You. Yeah, yeah.
You can move. Yeah, let me do it.
And then you can make a safe throw.
You're going to take out a book
as he's taunting you with hugs
and read a passage from your book.
Yes.
I don't think you are.
Well in the holy manual
of getting me the fuck out of here.
You just rolled a one.
Oh wow.
It's for everybody.
Amy, Amy.
Can't see it, it's so bad.
It's a one. But it's a one.
Yeah, they know.
But it's so sparkly.
Look how pretty this perfect number is.
Okay, so logistically
I don't think that you are going to do
that being frightened.
You have.
I thought it was my only goal.
You can make a save though.
I. Wisdom saving.
Did.
Oh, I thought you were rolling
for some spell you were trying to do.
No, I feel like you should make
your wisdom saving throw now, Amy.
Yeah, Amy.
You should make your wisdom saving throw now, Amy.
I can though because of my bracelet.
Yeah.
I think it's a one.
Oh my God, thank God.
Oh, 26.
That does it.
From a one to a 26.
You're fumbling and scrambling for your book
and you just don't know what's happening.
It throws it in the air.
No, I don't throw it in the air.
Oh, fuck yourself.
And I catch it.
You had books with me.
And I say delicious.
Right?
I'm eating books, my favorite food.
I'm kidding you.
I'm not losing this book.
You can keep your book, that's fine.
Thank you.
But you snap out of it.
You're now no longer frightened.
Rushing in now, you see the three figures
of Rubia, Novrath, and Ocklarth.
But they're not the same as when they left.
They are floating blue iridescent wraiths
with three blades in their hand.
And Lipsinki, you are now up.
The skeletons have collected
and are beginning to stand in the corners.
And the middle of this chamber is opening
and you look beyond it
and you see hands shooting up and out.
Okay.
I'm going to cast banishment on my friend Vorunax.
Okie dokie.
On my very close friend who I just want to send
on a little vacation to a different plane of existence.
That's fair.
Do I wisdom save?
You charisma save.
Oh, even better.
He's got a charm his way out of this one.
That is a 25.
Oh, fuck.
Okay, then I guess I do.
I mean, it was wisdom save.
That would have been too easy, wouldn't it?
Jeez.
It would have just been too easy
to just be like, bing, welcome to the machine world.
Vorunax, you feel like a twinge
as your spidey senses are tingling
as Lipsynche begins to cast this
and it just kind of shrugs and rolls off your shoulders.
You seem to be the real problem here.
Y'all gonna help a girl out?
You haven't really been doing much so far.
I don't know how you save the world,
to be honest with you.
Guys, I've got four of them on me, okay?
Rubia bolts into the center of the room
and says, I did what was necessary
and she turns to look to Novrath and Oclarth
and she's like, turn them into wraiths.
Thumbs up from Voronax.
Yeah, baby.
And she rushes. Excellent job.
Orcus has rewarded you well.
She rushes towards Lipsynche
and swings her furious longsword at you.
And she gets two attacks.
One is an action, one is a bonus action.
Action, bonus action.
Action is gonna be an 18 to hit.
Yep, that'll do it.
Oh my god.
And that one's a 25 to hit, so you get two hits.
Funnily enough, that one misses.
I know, right?
Weird.
Funny how that happens.
There's a cap.
Anything more than that, you're just showboating.
Right.
So two, 18.
So that's a 10, 14, and 17 combined slashing damage.
Okey dokey.
But attack rolls have advantage on her
for using that bonus action
until the start of her next turn.
Flint, you're up.
Okay, I notice that Lipsynche thinks
I notice that Lipsynche takes a bit of a beating there.
Am I close to my weapons at all, Russ,
after skirting around the perimeter?
We'll say you're within movement range of them, yeah.
Perfect.
I'm gonna go pick those up
because I'm gonna be needing those.
And I guess I'm a little bit out of
like hand to hand range at this point.
Yes.
Okay.
You're of Rubia for Lipsynche's area or?
Yeah, I would like to help her out
because she, A, called out for help
and sassed me pretty good, which I respect.
Yeah.
I'll be, she took a bit of a beating there.
Yes, you would be out of movement range
because you have to get to your weapons.
I'm gonna pick up that Dwarven Thrower
and I'm gonna throw it at that wraith
that's currently attacking her.
Do so.
And I believe you said I get advantage on these rolls?
On Rubia, yes.
Perfect.
Well, that's great because the first one was a crit fail.
Uh-oh.
Oh, let's do that again.
Oh, and that was a crit success.
Nice.
It's a very roller coaster ride here today.
Yeah, it's up and down.
All right, okay, D8, here we go.
So two D8 and then just the damage bonus remains
the one bonus, correct?
Yes, that's correct.
Okay, so that is 22 damage.
It crushes into this ghostly figure,
which becomes, she lets out like a shriek
and turns and looks at you
as the hammer zips back to you.
I will throw it again.
That one is a 21.
Yes, sir.
D8 this time.
Ooh, that's fun.
That's 15 damage.
The form and figure is dispersing
and is beginning to get sucked
into the center of this room.
All right, so it's like it's gone off of Lipsinkie?
Yeah, she's kind of turned and looked at you.
But yeah, so now each hit is like dispersing
some of her etherealness and is being sucked into.
She's still there, but not as good.
Okay, let's try one more.
First one was a three.
Not critical, 25 for the next one.
Yeah.
All right, and that is 13.
The third hit connects with the remaining energy
that Rubia has and disperses it.
She lets out a hideous cry
and all of it begins to swirl
and get churned up into the center of the room
and your hammer comes back to you.
Does it appear like the energy
at the center of the room has grown stronger
with this new addition or?
It does appear to be not hindering it.
Possibly helping it.
It does appear to be not hindering it.
Perfect.
It is, if that is all you're doing.
I mean, I could action surge,
but I don't see a point for it right now.
Knob Breath's turn.
He zips towards you, Flint,
and swings at you twice with his long sword.
21 for the first action, 18 for the bonus action.
They will both hit.
That's going to be 23 slashing damage.
Non-magical.
Okay, I will take 20 of that.
Okay, it is Vorunax's turn.
Okay.
He was gonna turn before me.
He was always before me.
What?
This is bullshit. Always.
I know, right?
Right?
I'm on y'all's side, honestly.
I mean, I wanna see y'all win,
but you know, I'm gonna do what I can to make sure.
I'm going to cradle my Mystic Arconum,
which is pretty much half of a skull
with a kind of a dried eyeball
like sewn into the eye socket,
and I am going to hold it,
and the eye glows, and I'm casting Eyebite on Flint.
So, Flint, if you will,
please give me a wisdom saving throw.
I have a question.
Can he hold his four a-hole replicas of himself on me
while casting this on Flint?
I'm gonna go ahead and roll that save anyway.
Well, yeah, just, you know, roll.
Well, I'm just wondering if it might cancel mine out
because if it is a concentration spell,
he can't do both at once, so.
You'll just have to find out.
Yeah, I'm just gonna have to find out.
Yeah, I am trying to find out.
That's 14 for me.
That will not do it.
You are sickened.
You are considered poisoned, sir.
Does it help that I am resistant to poison?
It does, you take half.
No, it just says you're sickened.
The target has disadvantage on attack rolls
and ability checks, and at the end of each turn,
you can make a wisdom saving throw.
It's not, you're not poisoned,
you're just sickened, like you're nauseous.
Like, you've got a cold.
Something's been going around.
You gots to bomb.
I gots to bomb.
And yeah, the mirror image is still there
because it's not concentration.
So you've got four in front of you.
Okay, well that's bullshit.
So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna eldritch blast his ass.
Okey dokey.
And I have four beams.
So I'm gonna put one on each dude
to find out the realsies guy.
Okay, just roll all those at disadvantage.
I will.
Sorry, I have four D's down.
Okay, so that first one was at disadvantage, a 22.
A 22 will hit.
Let me see here.
One second.
Okay, it hits one of my duplicates.
And disadvantage on the board is a 14 and that is a 23.
Okay, that hits as well.
Let's see.
Another duplicate poofs.
I don't know why it rolled.
The first one was a one.
The second one was an 18.
So that's a 10.
So it critically failed though.
So the third bolt.
It just doesn't go anywhere.
No, it goes and hits.
Lipsinki.
So sorry, I just yell oops.
Roll damage.
Oh, I roll damage.
I yell oops.
My bad.
I did not mean to, I'm sorry.
It's three fourths damage.
Right, okay, last one.
Okay.
16.
No, sorry.
Damn.
I feel very ineffectual as Thea.
You got rid of two of my images.
I did, I did.
It's not what I wanted to do.
Okay, Ocklarth goes towards Lipsinki.
It swings twice.
It's gonna be 19 on the first one,
13 on the second one.
Those will both hit.
Long sword swings down.
That's going to be a 10 and five.
So 15 slashing damage.
And then it's back to you, Lipsinki.
The energy is, you can feel it
almost drawing each of you.
It's like a pull that's coming out.
And the skeletons now are moving towards you
at your location slowly, but are there.
So we've got.
Whole bunch of shit.
Yeah.
Lots going on.
How many wraiths left?
Just two?
Two, one on you, one on Flint.
Okay, so I'm gonna yell, I like your style.
And I'm also going to Eldritch Blast.
So I will have, yeah, three beams.
So I'm going to try and hit.
Well, can I just do them all at the same person?
Yeah.
Great. Yeah.
I mean, make one at a time
just in case you kill them before, but yeah.
Well, I'm going to, I won't.
I don't even remember I'm taking any damage.
So he keeps capturing all my spells,
but I'm going to try for Marinox.
So that is 23, but at disadvantage 17.
No, I'm sorry.
So that was one, now 20, too bad for me.
But a 20.
20 will hit and it hits me.
Okay.
So that's not the most damaging spell, is it?
God damn.
What is if, you know, you get all of them on one person?
Well, it's two damage on that first one.
That's two more than we had before.
And now we know the real one.
It's true.
Two damage on me?
Yeah, two damage and then.
I'm going to use, oh, go ahead.
I was just going to fire my last bolt at you.
Okay.
But it is, it's a 19, 19 hit.
A 19 will hit me.
Okay.
And yeah, it hits me.
Okay.
So that is nine damage on that one.
Okay.
So, sorry, I need to mark it down real quick.
I took how much damage total?
11.
11 damage.
I'm going to use reaction hellish rebuke.
No.
Can you hellish rebuke his hellish rebuke?
Yeah, like what would that be like?
Yeah, technically.
And I'll do that at a,
we'll do this at a fifth level.
So if you will give me a dexterity saving throw.
I will do that.
That is a 19.
A 19 does not do it.
So you will take 60, 10.
Holy moly.
Well, welcome back to the podcast, Carla.
Yep.
So far, you've been shot by arrows,
shot by a so-called friend.
And now I'm being hellishly rebuked.
You take 45,
45 fire damage.
Great.
Great, great.
Better start adding up this damage.
I can't do it on the old character sheet,
but it's really getting up there.
I better start.
Clint, it's your turn.
Okay, there's some jackass on me, right?
Yes, sir.
That would be Nuff Novrith.
And how far away is Vorunax from me?
Other side of the room.
So we said movement, movement,
360 perimeter, 45-ish, 50.
I don't know how math works.
That's how circle math works?
Yep.
In this world.
There's a big portal in the middle.
That's right, there is, yeah.
Distorts time and space.
In that case, I will throw my dwarven thrower
at Vorunax across the room
and at disadvantage, correct, because I feel second?
Yes.
Okay.
What?
First one's a 27.
Like he's yakking this entire time.
Second one's a 22.
22 will hit me.
Okay.
That's full damage, 16.
Okay.
And onward and upward again.
Ooh, that's a fun one.
So that's a 31 on the first one.
Okay.
Oh, man.
17.
17 does not hit.
Okay.
Shit.
It doesn't hit as often, yeah.
All right, 24, second roll, 21.
21 hits.
Okay.
I'll throw that towards you.
14 damage on that one.
Okay.
And sure, all action surge, why not?
Just do it.
One more. Let's kill Kyle.
Right?
25 on the first one
and that's a 22 on the second one.
That'll hit as well.
And that's five and eight, so 13 damage.
Now there's some damage.
That's some good old wholesome damage right there.
Champion fighter damage right there for ya.
Yeah.
And what's the saving throw, it was wisdom?
Yes.
And I can do that at the end of my turn?
Yes, you can.
Okay.
17.
No, sorry, still sick.
All right.
I mean, it got a plus 13 to hit with that hammer,
so it's not terrible rolling at disadvantage.
No, no, I mean, it's the best I can do
to keep you from just murdering me.
Yeah, no, it's fair.
Novrath's turn.
Swings again at Flint.
25 and a nine to hit.
So that's one.
The nine will not do it.
Funny.
10 slashing damage comes at your face.
Okay, I'll take seven.
Vorunax, it is your turn.
I'm going to use my action
to re, I can use the eye bite on pretty much anybody.
So I need
Lipsinki.
Go ahead and also give me a wisdom saving throw.
That is a 22.
Also, I have advantage on wisdom saving throws
against magic, which I assume
your gross floating eyeballs call is.
Yeah, pretty much.
No, you're good to go.
You start to maybe feel a little sleepy,
but then you shake it off.
And let's see, do I have anything else I should do?
Oh my God.
So no, I am going to,
I'm gonna move, use my movement
and start moving towards Lipsinki.
And that's all in my turn there.
Is he still two people or one person
because we've hit him and we know where he is.
I think I still have one up.
Yeah.
So you still, you have a better chance
of hitting him once it gets down to that,
but it still maintains.
Right.
Okay, so what I'm gonna do is I'm going to,
well, I guess I'm gonna Eldritch Blast them again,
because that's my best option.
Go for it.
So I made a mistake before,
so I'm really glad that only one out of my four hit you
because it should only be three.
I misread.
Okay.
I misread my character sheet and I saw level 17 here,
but we're only level 16.
So it's only three.
And it's at disadvantage.
Yes.
Well, that's disappointing.
Okay, that's 18.
18 meets.
Okay, good.
Yay for plus nothing.
But it hits my last buddy and poof, goes that buddy.
Nice.
All right, well, the last two is coming right at you.
Is it at disadvantage still?
Yes, it is.
Okay.
How about 17?
17 does not hit.
Okay.
Fuck off.
Nothing hits.
And I just give you two big burns.
You got rid of the guy.
You got rid of one of the mirror images.
Yeah, so now it's just down to him.
The skeletons are now moving away from Thea
and towards Flint.
Oh.
I was gonna say, can I move?
I've been in the same corner huddled.
You can, you did just, your movement was the two birds
you threw up all the way back.
That is not my movement.
I can totally fly the birds as well
as move towards my buddies.
Who's closest to me?
But I didn't say that they moved until after your turn.
I just keep forgetting I can use my legs and walk.
You can.
You're on the other side of the room
from everybody else though.
Okay.
So Flint, you've got 10 skeletons coming towards you.
Okay.
They're gonna start flailing and swinging.
And four of them will hit you with 18 or above.
Six, 10, 12, 18 bludgeoning damage
as the skeletons are now swarmed you.
Okay.
Lipsinki, it's your turn.
Skeletons are swarming.
Flint, Varnaux is moving towards you.
The energy is pulling against you now.
I'm gonna get you to make a strength saving throw.
Okay.
That is an 18.
You feel it pulling against you
like it's trying to suck you into the portal itself,
but you hold your ground.
Okay.
I am going to
Maybe this is the thing.
Can I, I'm going to cast
alter self and I'm going to make myself look
just like Varnaux.
So his creatures won't attack me anymore
cause they'll think that I'm him.
Okay.
Great.
That's what I do.
Yeah.
I do it too.
Now there's three Varnaux.
Now we all look like Varnaux.
Okay.
See a double.
Six Varnauxes.
Oh my gosh.
It's back.
I mean, it doesn't really give
Facial hair, everything.
Yeah.
I mean, it doesn't really give me any advantage
other than that, but.
Okay.
So yeah, that happens.
You, yeah.
You just look like him.
Yeah, you look like him.
Ocklarth who I accidentally forgot their turn
off the top gives a double take
and everything is now confused.
Flint, it is your turn.
You have 10 skeletons and a Novrath on you.
Lots of buddies.
Lots of buddies to play with.
Yeah, I got so many buddies.
All right.
What to do with this?
Kill them.
Kill them all.
Swing.
Yeah, I guess I'll swing away
with my moist tongue long sword
that I have equipped into my hands
and have shouted out the word moist.
Moist.
I guess that has to happen.
I'm sure you'll lick them.
That's right.
Lick them good.
All right.
Yeah.
I'm sure that joke's been made.
I guess I'll just start like hacking away here.
24.
Yep.
For the first one.
I mean, these things literally don't have
the basic human armor of skin.
No, they're just skeletons.
So.
All right.
Yeah, so that is 13 damage on the first one.
One of them dusts and blows up in front of you.
Okay.
I'll attack a second one.
That is a 24.
Also will hit.
And that is 12 damage on that one.
You cut into it and it falls to the ground
and is like holding onto your foot,
but it doesn't have legs anymore.
Okay.
And I'll take my dwarven thrower
and I'll throw it at the Vorunax
that I know to be Vorunax.
Because I saw where he was.
They've swap seat.
Oh no.
First one's a 25.
You put them under two big cups.
Still with disadvantage, I'm assuming?
Yeah, still with disadvantage.
Okay.
Second one.
Well, actually the 25 was the worst of the two, so.
Nice.
Not too shabby.
And that'll be 14 damage.
Okay.
And I guess I'll keep trying to like
push skeletons off me to wrap up my turn.
Oh, I should roll my wisdom save.
Yep.
Hey.
Oh God.
I don't know where the dice went.
Hang on.
Not good enough.
Fair enough.
This dice is just not good enough.
Novrith goes and swings at you.
First action is 26 flint.
Second one's an eight.
You're gonna take eight slashing damage.
I will take five of it.
And then Varnax, you are up.
I am going, now that I've moved up to Lipsynche,
I'm gonna say, it's quite a flattering form you've taken.
Perhaps it is, I can only get away with one this time.
And I'm going to attempt and grapple.
Yes.
Very, very, hitting myself.
That was sensual.
About time.
Right?
Grapple.
Yeah, I'm going to attempt a grapple.
Is that just like a strength contest?
Yeah, yeah, straight, straight.
Okay.
Against all odds, my tiny gnome has rolled a 19.
You're not tiny anymore, though.
Oh, that's true, but yeah, okay.
Oh yeah.
So, do y'all do, who would win at it as a 19 versus 19?
Of course we'd tie, we're the same man right now.
Right? Exactly.
Maybe it's, they've got each other
and they're just locked in this.
It's like a cobra and a mongoose.
Or, yeah, yeah, roll again
because you have the same modifier, so.
We'll see who gets tired first.
Okay. Roll for tired.
14.
It's a 15 this time.
No.
Ah! So close.
So close.
Now that I've got lip-synchy grappled,
I am going to use whatever movement I have
to move us towards the portal and jump in.
And as I do, I say,
if you've lost something in this world,
Orcus can provide it back to you.
Follow his path and you'll find everything
that you've been looking for.
Maybe even companions you've lost.
Who knows what's on the other side,
but we're about to find out.
And I drop back into the portal with lip-synchy.
The two of them fall backwards into the portal
and get sucked in.
And in an explosion of energy,
it shoots up and echoes through the room
and sucks back in.
The skeletons get sucked in by the force behind them.
Both of you make a strength saving throw.
Ones. Ones.
Not 20.
Okay. Fuck.
Oh, wow.
13.
Still at disadvantage because you're sickened.
Oh, all right.
Well, I don't know if I'd be there.
13 was better.
Or was worse than what was rolled.
Flint, because of the amount of skeletons around you,
you get sucked down and kind of skid along the ground
as they get sucked behind you
and explode in dust and debris.
You hear from down the hall,
the groaning zombies amassing
as the walls echo with this explosion.
And you look down in the middle of the room
and you see lip-synchy's bracer
sitting where the portal shut.
We flash to lip-synchy and Vorunax
jumping backwards through the open portal.
The two are seen falling through darkness.
The sound of a crying wind whipping past them
before we see lip-synchy crashing to the ground,
hitting hard.
The sound of bones crunching echoes out into the stale air.
Lying motionless, what do you do?
Why did you?
I can't, can I even move?
Am I like?
Yeah, after a moment of catching your breath,
you are able to move.
Then I guess I will stand up and look around
and see if I can see what I can see.
As the moment passes, you give yourself just a feel over.
The sound of the breaking bones wasn't yourself.
It was the ground around you.
You put your hands down to lift yourself up
and look around where you are
and you see that the ground is littered
with skeletal remains.
You look out beyond and you strain to see,
even being able to see in darkness as you can.
You hear strong, slow footsteps
coming closer from behind you.
As you hear Vorunax say,
Welcome to the promised land, Miss Pip Diggins.
This is Thanatos, the home of our demon prince
and lord of the undead, Orcus.
Why did you bring me to this cursed place?
He gives a low chuckle as you look out
and your eyes begin to focus a little more
and you see your surroundings a little more clearly.
There's rolling hills in front of you.
You see the silhouette of Vorunax
and the sound of moans and hisses and cries
rush over the rolling hills,
the rubble, the bones and barren rock.
And as they hit you and surround you,
you begin to feel dread flow through your being.
You look out over, spinning and reeling
and you see a sea filled with not water,
but a roiling, churning ocean of black-red blood.
The stench of copper, death and decay hits you,
causing you to gag on the air you breathe
as you feel your own life beginning to leave your body.
You hear Vorunax chuckle again
as you gasp for air and fall to your knees
and he says, not yet.
Suddenly, a snap rings out and all goes silent.
You find yourself in a new room.
You gasp for air.
Stale as it is, you feel it's no longer killing you.
Vorunax speaks from the far side of this new space.
You look up and you see him standing illuminated
by a red light through a door and he says,
there are some beings with special abilities
that the demon prince is taken an interest in.
You, you are one of those beings.
Your time will come, but for now, Miss Pip Diggins,
I encourage you to make yourself at home.
And the door closes behind him
as you hear footsteps walking away.
What do you do?
Is it genuinely just like a room,
like a cell or what am I in?
As you begin to focus more, you feel around
and the ground doesn't feel like ground.
It has a soft, almost flesh feel to it.
And as you make your way around the room
that you feel you are in,
you run into jagged bars that surround you
and you find that you are in fact in a cell.
Make a wisdom saving throw.
Fuck, 11.
I have a plus six, still did not, didn't do good.
Okay, I would also like you
to roll percentile dice, please.
Okey-dokey, 39.
The wisdom saving throw was for overcoming madness.
You take a level of orcas madness.
Lipsinki Pip Diggins is compelled
to make the weak suffer.
So as this madness washes over,
you describe to me as best you can
how Lipsinki is feeling and dealing with this.
I almost wonder if she wouldn't sort of almost split.
Like this is already a person who is used to dealing
with creatures sort of speaking in her head from beyond
and I think maybe this level of grossness and trauma
split so she has, now there's a new evil Lipsinki.
But the nice one's still inside there
but she's compartmentalized these two, these two people.
As you sit and this washes over you,
you focus a little more on the room around you
and beyond the cell and you hear a soft mumbled voice
coming from another part of this jail
for lack of a better term.
It's tough to tell which direction
as any noise you feel kind of echoes
and bounces off the walls around you
and it's very disorienting.
What do you do or say?
Hello?
Is there somebody there?
Can I hear you?
Am I?
And I'm kind of like touching my head
cause I'm not even sure if I'm hearing it externally
or if it's someone internal or what I'm hearing.
As you do that you hear the voice become more clear
and the room begins to focus
as your eyes acclimatize to it
and you see a figure a distance away
glowing a soft gray blue
and the voice becomes clearer.
You hear them whispering to themselves
as the figure rocks back and forth
a soft oh boy, oh boy, oh boy
is heard.
The song Nowhere Land is by Kavin McLeod
of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
All other music, sound effects, and ambience
can be found at epidemicsound.com.
A huge thank you to our supporting producers.
Rhyme.com.
And we'll see you in the next episode.
Ryan Cushman, Gabriel Lynch, Joshua Dixon,
Devin Michaels, Cat Waterflame, and Jacob Madden.
To become a patron visit Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast
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And with that,
gonna kick the dog
and tell her to stop licking her butt.
No, I can't reach her, but you can.
Hey, stop slurping your a-hole.
And with that.
Sorry, those words came out of my mouth.
You wake up the next day.
You're missing your, you're missing your kidneys.
It's been a long time.
Nice bath.
I knew it.
There you go creating another fable.
That's all D&D is.
You wanted to.
Wait, you got a thing for things.
Yeah, I do.
Some say it's weird,
but I have a thing for things.
Don't look at my screen.
Don't, don't you look at my screen.
Don't you do it.
Don't look at mine.
God.
I didn't see it in the glasses.
The thing for things?
All the secrets.
A man holding a...
Crossbow.
Thank you.
Pew, pew, pew, pew.
An arrow gun.
It's my turn, I assume, right?
No.
Yes.
The zombies come back, oh no.
That was really rude of you
because I thought for sure Carla was gonna kill him
and I was gonna be like,
well, it's just gonna be like,
flip the anNularaaa all over again
and I'm not gonna get to play.
Why is everything here so disgusting?
I guess cause I'm in hell.
Cause you're,
but it's really gross.
You're not in hell, you're in the abyss.
I'm in the 113th layer of the abyss.
Yeah, which is worse than hell.
Well, it is cause everything is gross.
It's blood lakes and fleshy, soft...
Yeah.
Cells.
Yeah.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.